Saturday, February 16, 2008
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Will they? Won't they?
Our resolutions… Will they take wing and fly? Or will they wilt and die?
The first month of the year has already tip-toed past. January, month of Janus, Roman god of beginnings. Mellow February's turn now. As 2007 was fading into the twilight, didn't most of us feel the compulsion to cobble together at least a couple of resolutions for the new year? Hope, as they say, is eternal. So we made another jab at it. Once more, we packed resolutions like bricks to build the edifice of the new year. Once again, we reaffirmed our faith in their power to piece together the jig saw puzzle of our lives.
Through the freezing December days, some of us may have actually put down our list of resolutions on paper. Others preferred a mental resolution-crafting exercise. Why write them down when they are going to play in our heads through the year like the beat of a familiar song?
There are some resolutions that appeal to all the people, all the time. (A short disclaimer: I am not bringing up the topic of resolutions to ring alarm bells. All the lucky souls who've already managed to forget the promise of sticking to their resolutions can continue to live in bliss.)
Since ours is an age of lists and compilations, there's no harm in bringing up a roster of universal favourites. These are resolutions that pop up like jack-in-the-boxes year after year on most people's minds. Topping the list has to be: "next year, I will lose weight." Or it could be: "next year, I will gain weight and make my presence felt." Resolution entirely dependent on what effect you usually have on the bathroom scales.
Let me give you a useful tip. When friends or acquaintances confide in you that their resolution involves losing/gaining weight, try not to ask them how they are planning to do so. Just look impressed by the strength of their resolve. Nod reassuringly. Say a congratulatory word or two. But do not, I repeat, do not ask how. For it is not your lot to reason how.
I speak from experience. When a colleague who is on the plumper side told me her resolution was to lose weight, I was foolish enough to follow it up with questions.
"So you are planning to go on a diet?" Moi.
"Huh?" She looks annoyed. She sounds annoyed too.
"I mean, will you stop snacking in office? Bye bye carbs? Hello green veggies?" Stupid me carries on bravely.
"What do you mean?" She has drawn herself up to her full height. She is eyeing me like a bird eyeing a lowly worm. I shut up. But the damage is done. There is an icy wind blowing from her cubicle towards mine. Not a word has passed between us through the month of January.
So I recommend silence, a smile and a nod of reassurance as the suitable response to the weight loss/gain resolution.
Enjoying top priority on the popular list are resolutions to quit/cut down smoking, eat right, exercise, spend more quality time with friends and family instead of obsessing over work and career concerns. Worthy resolutions, no doubt. Highly recommended for wellbeing of body and soul.
A friend of mine who is fond of theorizing – you have a problem, he has a theory – has come up with a theory on how to deal with the craving for cigarettes. He smokes like a chimney, hence…So his earth shaking premise is that a smoker feels the craving for a cigarette at regular intervals. "All you have to do is resist the impulse. As you learn to do that successfully, the interval between each craving will widen," he declares. If you are the sort who craves 15 ciggies a day, once you start the resistance, your craving will come down to 10. Then to 5. And then to none at all.
The pioneer of the theory is struggling with the resistance. But he is sure that once he pulls that off, his habit will go up in smoke. Good luck with that I say. Each to his own theory in this brand new year…
One of my friends decided to execute his resolution of spending more time with family and friends in all earnestness. As soon as the new year dawns, he takes the whole month off from work. Promises his wife to babysit their three-year-old through sickness and health, plans a long delayed family holiday. The works…
Two days into the month, he has a fight with his wife. They disagree on whether their daughter should take music lessons or not. It's too much of a burden on her time. Let her enjoy her freedom, he says. But it's a competitive world. We must catch them young, she says. War of words begins. Usually, he spends his day and most of the night at his office. When he runs into his daughter and wife on his weekly off-day or a rare national holiday, all goes well. Because he has no time or energy to squabble. The moments they spend in each other's company are short and sweet. Argument-free thanks to the paucity of time.
Ever since he has had time on his hands, a cold war has set in at home. His wife is speaking to him from between clenched teeth. Friends are staying clear of their house for the moment for fear of getting caught in the crossfire.
Word of caution: spend more time with family and friends by all means, but make sure all concerned can handle it. Look before you leap for your leave application.
As individuals, we make resolutions to improve our past track record. Resolutions are our brave acknowledgments of our failures in the year gone by.
As a country, there are some resolutions which are crying out to us for our consideration. It's high time we acknowledge our collective failure and embraced them. As far as these resolutions go, time is running out on us. It's a classic case of now or never. Tomorrow may be too late.
Of all the resolutions that we have neglected to make, this one stands out. It's a cruel irony that while we crow about India going global, one half of the population in our country still lives in fear. Of rape, sexual assault, eve teasing, acid attacks, dowry death. Before we give cosmetic makeovers to our metros, morphing New Delhi into New York, Mumbai to Shanghai, can we resolve to make sure our cities are safe? For women who want to travel, work, eat a meal in peace in a restaurant. To take a walk on city streets without being mauled or molested. To hop on a train without being assaulted.
We could also resolve to become a more tolerant set of humans. Let's not cry for blood each time an artist paints a picture that is 'objectionable.' Let's not set fire to cinema halls if a film offends our sensibilities. Let's not blindly follow political demagogues who thunder about caste and communal divides to inflame our basic instincts.
Let's resolve to listen to the voice of reason. To find ways of expressing our discontent without resorting to atrocity or extremism.
Let's issue a fatwa on hatred. Ring out old feuds. Ring in new friendships.
New year resolutions, like rules, are often made to be broken.
But it would be a shame if we didn't make them for fear of failing to keep them.
The first month of the year has already tip-toed past. January, month of Janus, Roman god of beginnings. Mellow February's turn now. As 2007 was fading into the twilight, didn't most of us feel the compulsion to cobble together at least a couple of resolutions for the new year? Hope, as they say, is eternal. So we made another jab at it. Once more, we packed resolutions like bricks to build the edifice of the new year. Once again, we reaffirmed our faith in their power to piece together the jig saw puzzle of our lives.
Through the freezing December days, some of us may have actually put down our list of resolutions on paper. Others preferred a mental resolution-crafting exercise. Why write them down when they are going to play in our heads through the year like the beat of a familiar song?
There are some resolutions that appeal to all the people, all the time. (A short disclaimer: I am not bringing up the topic of resolutions to ring alarm bells. All the lucky souls who've already managed to forget the promise of sticking to their resolutions can continue to live in bliss.)
Since ours is an age of lists and compilations, there's no harm in bringing up a roster of universal favourites. These are resolutions that pop up like jack-in-the-boxes year after year on most people's minds. Topping the list has to be: "next year, I will lose weight." Or it could be: "next year, I will gain weight and make my presence felt." Resolution entirely dependent on what effect you usually have on the bathroom scales.
Let me give you a useful tip. When friends or acquaintances confide in you that their resolution involves losing/gaining weight, try not to ask them how they are planning to do so. Just look impressed by the strength of their resolve. Nod reassuringly. Say a congratulatory word or two. But do not, I repeat, do not ask how. For it is not your lot to reason how.
I speak from experience. When a colleague who is on the plumper side told me her resolution was to lose weight, I was foolish enough to follow it up with questions.
"So you are planning to go on a diet?" Moi.
"Huh?" She looks annoyed. She sounds annoyed too.
"I mean, will you stop snacking in office? Bye bye carbs? Hello green veggies?" Stupid me carries on bravely.
"What do you mean?" She has drawn herself up to her full height. She is eyeing me like a bird eyeing a lowly worm. I shut up. But the damage is done. There is an icy wind blowing from her cubicle towards mine. Not a word has passed between us through the month of January.
So I recommend silence, a smile and a nod of reassurance as the suitable response to the weight loss/gain resolution.
Enjoying top priority on the popular list are resolutions to quit/cut down smoking, eat right, exercise, spend more quality time with friends and family instead of obsessing over work and career concerns. Worthy resolutions, no doubt. Highly recommended for wellbeing of body and soul.
A friend of mine who is fond of theorizing – you have a problem, he has a theory – has come up with a theory on how to deal with the craving for cigarettes. He smokes like a chimney, hence…So his earth shaking premise is that a smoker feels the craving for a cigarette at regular intervals. "All you have to do is resist the impulse. As you learn to do that successfully, the interval between each craving will widen," he declares. If you are the sort who craves 15 ciggies a day, once you start the resistance, your craving will come down to 10. Then to 5. And then to none at all.
The pioneer of the theory is struggling with the resistance. But he is sure that once he pulls that off, his habit will go up in smoke. Good luck with that I say. Each to his own theory in this brand new year…
One of my friends decided to execute his resolution of spending more time with family and friends in all earnestness. As soon as the new year dawns, he takes the whole month off from work. Promises his wife to babysit their three-year-old through sickness and health, plans a long delayed family holiday. The works…
Two days into the month, he has a fight with his wife. They disagree on whether their daughter should take music lessons or not. It's too much of a burden on her time. Let her enjoy her freedom, he says. But it's a competitive world. We must catch them young, she says. War of words begins. Usually, he spends his day and most of the night at his office. When he runs into his daughter and wife on his weekly off-day or a rare national holiday, all goes well. Because he has no time or energy to squabble. The moments they spend in each other's company are short and sweet. Argument-free thanks to the paucity of time.
Ever since he has had time on his hands, a cold war has set in at home. His wife is speaking to him from between clenched teeth. Friends are staying clear of their house for the moment for fear of getting caught in the crossfire.
Word of caution: spend more time with family and friends by all means, but make sure all concerned can handle it. Look before you leap for your leave application.
As individuals, we make resolutions to improve our past track record. Resolutions are our brave acknowledgments of our failures in the year gone by.
As a country, there are some resolutions which are crying out to us for our consideration. It's high time we acknowledge our collective failure and embraced them. As far as these resolutions go, time is running out on us. It's a classic case of now or never. Tomorrow may be too late.
Of all the resolutions that we have neglected to make, this one stands out. It's a cruel irony that while we crow about India going global, one half of the population in our country still lives in fear. Of rape, sexual assault, eve teasing, acid attacks, dowry death. Before we give cosmetic makeovers to our metros, morphing New Delhi into New York, Mumbai to Shanghai, can we resolve to make sure our cities are safe? For women who want to travel, work, eat a meal in peace in a restaurant. To take a walk on city streets without being mauled or molested. To hop on a train without being assaulted.
We could also resolve to become a more tolerant set of humans. Let's not cry for blood each time an artist paints a picture that is 'objectionable.' Let's not set fire to cinema halls if a film offends our sensibilities. Let's not blindly follow political demagogues who thunder about caste and communal divides to inflame our basic instincts.
Let's resolve to listen to the voice of reason. To find ways of expressing our discontent without resorting to atrocity or extremism.
Let's issue a fatwa on hatred. Ring out old feuds. Ring in new friendships.
New year resolutions, like rules, are often made to be broken.
But it would be a shame if we didn't make them for fear of failing to keep them.
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