Monday, October 22, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Smpli 4 U
In the UK, the buzzword of the day is simplify. Classical Comics has> decided to turn Shakespeare's works into the quick text format.> Accompanying the text, there will be comic strips in case the reader> happens to be allergic to words, no matter how simple they are. These> quick text versions are targeted at primary school students and> teenagers.> A sample from quick text Shakespeare:> One of the most memorable lines from Henry V "once more unto the> breach, dear friends, once more" becomes "take a deep breath and> fight."> When Lady Macbeth goads her husband to murder, "Wouldst thou live a> coward in thine own esteem letting 'I dare not' wait upon 'I would,'> like the poor cat in the adage?> Quick text translates: Don't be afraid!>
If UK simplifies, can India be far behind? In the global village, we> must keep up with the best of them, musn't we? If the Americans are> stocking up on nukes, we try to be up to speed. Get a few ourselves.> Or sign a pact with them, grovel and genuflect, till they agree to> show us how to make the nukes ourselves. If the Russians are> stockpiling fighter crafts, we do too.>
Looks like a global simplification drive is about to kick in soon. The> drive may start with Shakespeare, but it will spread like a blazing> forest fire. Across the realms of poetry and prose and music. It will> invade dance and drama and opera. Why leave cinema alone? There is a> whole treasure trove of films rich with complications, layers of> meaning which must be made simple. For the viewer's convenience, they> will broken down into easily understood (consumed?) snippets. The> drive will bulldoze its way through our lives in a million terrible> ways. Imagination will be made redundant simply because there will be nothing left to imagine. Any piece of art or music or poetry that is
enigmatic will be reduced to its bare bones. Like taking a clock apart, and laying bare its innards, operation simplify will demystify the world mercilessly.
Getting back to the Bard. Simplifying him will give a whole generation of young students the chance to breathe easy. Erase a major worry from their list of troubles. No more time wasted on decoding Shakespeare. No grappling with the complexities of poetic language. No need to peel off layers of intricate metaphor in the pursuit of meaning. Similes? Oh, please. What a waste of space. Metaphor. What a bore! Alliteration. Duh! Delete them. Dump them. Strip language of complexity. Goodbye tiresome figures of speech. Hello quick text. Wlcome 2 our midst!
In the simplified world many books will be revised. Volumes of poetry will be cut down to size. Films you have watched over and over again will sport a new look. No novel will be longer than a few pages. No poem will wander through the badlands of subtle shifts of meaning and metaphor. All will be clear. And quick.
A few samples: Playing at a theatre near you. The new, simplified, quick-texted Citizen Kane
Scene 1: Guy walks in with sledge. He has a faraway, dreamy look on his face. Camera zooms into the letters engraved on sledge. Rosebud.
Scene 2: Guy looks into camera and says: As a child, I skied a lot. This sledge is part of my childhood.
Scene 3: Guy has risen to eminence. He is a man of power and position. Scene 4: Guy in his office. He dreams of his sledge
Scene 5, 6 and 7: Guy fights with several people including colleagues, business competitors, wife, mistresses
Scene 8: He is now overweight and all alone. He is surrounded by slowly falling snow
Scene 9: Guy holds on to sledge and looks into camera. He says: I used to ski a lot. Lonely people end up alone. Modern man is alienated. END CREDITS (All names are written in quick text for the viewer's convenience. For example, Orson Welles reads as O Wlls)
Say you are in the mood for reading. You pick up Arthur Miller's Death Of A Salesman, revised and simplified.
Act 1: Mother: I refuse to believe my son died in the war.
Act 2: Son: My brother joined the war. He died. Because of my father's crass capitalism. My father is an American salesman.
Act 3: Father: What have I done? I have killed my son. All the soldiers who died in the war are my sons. I should never have sold faulty parts to the army. Oh god. I am going to kill myself.
Act 4: Mother: My son died. My husband, I believe has shot and killed himself
Act 5: Son: My brother died. My mother cried
Epilogue: There is a war going on in Iraq. Many soldiers – American, Australian and British – have died. Many more will. Iraqi people are also said to have died. The American troops are trying hard to bring democracy to Iraq. The White House is proud of their efforts.
CURTAIN
Or you might turn to fiction. A classic, finally shorn of annoying complications. No philosophizing. No more wandering through the wilderness of agonizing moral questions. Simple, reader friendly. Like instant noodles, all it takes is a minute to get to the point.
Anna Karenina for example.
Chapter 1: Married woman looking for love.
Chapter 2: Love found, outside marriage
Chapter 3: Woman must pay a price for transgression
Chapter 4: Flings herself in front of a moving train. Dies.
> Or The English Patient
Chapter 1: A patient can't remember who he is. Could be an Englishman Chapter 2: Nurse falls in love with him Chapter 3: The world war is slowly ending. War has turned the world upside down. Patient tells nurse his tragic love story
Chapter 4: Nurse listens to tragic story
Chapter 5: Patient wants to die. Nurse injects morphine into his veins Chapter 6: Patient dies. Nurse is sad
In the new world of simplicity, emotions will be colour coded. Say, you are angry. Or sad. Or elated. When you are angry, you simply hold a red card. When sad, use a blue one. Happiness and a bright yellow card go together. In case you are mystified about this system, there is a simple explanation. By holding the cards aloft, you are avoiding complications. Dispelling mystery. People around you do not have to tax their perceptive faculties trying to figure out what mood you are in. The colour reveals all. In one stroke.
Many more such innovative practices will be in vogue in the simple new world. But let me not list them all here. Might get a bit too complicated for you, dear reader….
If UK simplifies, can India be far behind? In the global village, we> must keep up with the best of them, musn't we? If the Americans are> stocking up on nukes, we try to be up to speed. Get a few ourselves.> Or sign a pact with them, grovel and genuflect, till they agree to> show us how to make the nukes ourselves. If the Russians are> stockpiling fighter crafts, we do too.>
Looks like a global simplification drive is about to kick in soon. The> drive may start with Shakespeare, but it will spread like a blazing> forest fire. Across the realms of poetry and prose and music. It will> invade dance and drama and opera. Why leave cinema alone? There is a> whole treasure trove of films rich with complications, layers of> meaning which must be made simple. For the viewer's convenience, they> will broken down into easily understood (consumed?) snippets. The> drive will bulldoze its way through our lives in a million terrible> ways. Imagination will be made redundant simply because there will be nothing left to imagine. Any piece of art or music or poetry that is
enigmatic will be reduced to its bare bones. Like taking a clock apart, and laying bare its innards, operation simplify will demystify the world mercilessly.
Getting back to the Bard. Simplifying him will give a whole generation of young students the chance to breathe easy. Erase a major worry from their list of troubles. No more time wasted on decoding Shakespeare. No grappling with the complexities of poetic language. No need to peel off layers of intricate metaphor in the pursuit of meaning. Similes? Oh, please. What a waste of space. Metaphor. What a bore! Alliteration. Duh! Delete them. Dump them. Strip language of complexity. Goodbye tiresome figures of speech. Hello quick text. Wlcome 2 our midst!
In the simplified world many books will be revised. Volumes of poetry will be cut down to size. Films you have watched over and over again will sport a new look. No novel will be longer than a few pages. No poem will wander through the badlands of subtle shifts of meaning and metaphor. All will be clear. And quick.
A few samples: Playing at a theatre near you. The new, simplified, quick-texted Citizen Kane
Scene 1: Guy walks in with sledge. He has a faraway, dreamy look on his face. Camera zooms into the letters engraved on sledge. Rosebud.
Scene 2: Guy looks into camera and says: As a child, I skied a lot. This sledge is part of my childhood.
Scene 3: Guy has risen to eminence. He is a man of power and position. Scene 4: Guy in his office. He dreams of his sledge
Scene 5, 6 and 7: Guy fights with several people including colleagues, business competitors, wife, mistresses
Scene 8: He is now overweight and all alone. He is surrounded by slowly falling snow
Scene 9: Guy holds on to sledge and looks into camera. He says: I used to ski a lot. Lonely people end up alone. Modern man is alienated. END CREDITS (All names are written in quick text for the viewer's convenience. For example, Orson Welles reads as O Wlls)
Say you are in the mood for reading. You pick up Arthur Miller's Death Of A Salesman, revised and simplified.
Act 1: Mother: I refuse to believe my son died in the war.
Act 2: Son: My brother joined the war. He died. Because of my father's crass capitalism. My father is an American salesman.
Act 3: Father: What have I done? I have killed my son. All the soldiers who died in the war are my sons. I should never have sold faulty parts to the army. Oh god. I am going to kill myself.
Act 4: Mother: My son died. My husband, I believe has shot and killed himself
Act 5: Son: My brother died. My mother cried
Epilogue: There is a war going on in Iraq. Many soldiers – American, Australian and British – have died. Many more will. Iraqi people are also said to have died. The American troops are trying hard to bring democracy to Iraq. The White House is proud of their efforts.
CURTAIN
Or you might turn to fiction. A classic, finally shorn of annoying complications. No philosophizing. No more wandering through the wilderness of agonizing moral questions. Simple, reader friendly. Like instant noodles, all it takes is a minute to get to the point.
Anna Karenina for example.
Chapter 1: Married woman looking for love.
Chapter 2: Love found, outside marriage
Chapter 3: Woman must pay a price for transgression
Chapter 4: Flings herself in front of a moving train. Dies.
> Or The English Patient
Chapter 1: A patient can't remember who he is. Could be an Englishman Chapter 2: Nurse falls in love with him Chapter 3: The world war is slowly ending. War has turned the world upside down. Patient tells nurse his tragic love story
Chapter 4: Nurse listens to tragic story
Chapter 5: Patient wants to die. Nurse injects morphine into his veins Chapter 6: Patient dies. Nurse is sad
In the new world of simplicity, emotions will be colour coded. Say, you are angry. Or sad. Or elated. When you are angry, you simply hold a red card. When sad, use a blue one. Happiness and a bright yellow card go together. In case you are mystified about this system, there is a simple explanation. By holding the cards aloft, you are avoiding complications. Dispelling mystery. People around you do not have to tax their perceptive faculties trying to figure out what mood you are in. The colour reveals all. In one stroke.
Many more such innovative practices will be in vogue in the simple new world. But let me not list them all here. Might get a bit too complicated for you, dear reader….
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